Actually, nevermind
by otahotian
Summary: Kirk/Spock. Rocky beginnings aren't always that bad, are they? All the better the friendship is. My thoughts on how Jim learned that boundaries exist and how Spock found out that emotions are not, in fact, plague.
1. Chapter 1

**A new little something to occupy my mind. I'm a big TOS fan and boom, now there's a story. No beginnings are perfect and I think Spock and Kirk must have clashed at some point, because.. gah, don't tell Spock doesn't have some unresolved Pike issues. Must have been difficult to imprint on one captain and then have him leave for something as illogical as retirement. **

**When: pre-TOS, but probably not canonically, no idea. **

**Who: mostly Spock, Jim, Bones. Jim's POV, because he's a darling. **

**Listening to: anything by Cranberries **

**Challenge: anyone smarter than our darling captain..? Can you figure out what's eating Spock?**

**Enjoy to the best of your capabilities.**

* * *

_Captain's log, day 5 of the mission. Friday. Why not, I mean.. whoever's gonna listen to this should know what day it was, Bones. Anyway. Stardate 0903… what's the time? Yeah, 0903.3. Our destination is planetoid.. Zeta 15 on the edge of Calentha Noro galaxy. We are currently travelling at Warp 5, our estimated time of arrival is in fifteen hours. Nothing of interest._

James T. Kirk had been appointed a captain to Enterprise seven days ago during a quiet ceremony. He had a feeling that Pike would have just woken him up one morning with a 'hey, Jimbo. Pack your stuff, your ship's leaving in thirty minutes' if it had been up to him, but as it was, Jim got two days of a warning and now here we are.

He was surprised, but he was pretty ecstatic about it, too. After two previous missions now he actually got to pilot his own ship. And Pike's Enterprise, no less.

The crew was accepting and pretty unsurprised, mostly because everyone knew Pike was itching to retire. And his second in command.. well, probably didn't want the spot. Or Starfleet didn't want to have their most famous ship piloted by a vulcan. Jim never dared to ask and no one seemed to think he would like to know.

The vulcan. Jim sighed when his thoughts, again, turned to his inherited Commander, thinking that maybe he should have appointed another one.

"May I help you, Captain Kirk..?" the man in person asked, not because he could read minds like Jim's paranoia sometimes suggested, but because Jim had been staring at him ever since he switched off the recorder. He snapped out of it and raised a Padd, pretending to read something on it. "Not at all, Commander." he replied a bit stiffly, uncomfortable under the cool eyes.

And to think they had started off pretty well in the beginning. In the first thirty seconds or something. To be honest Jim still had no idea where did they go wrong, what on Earth had he said so horrible. He had been distracted, entranced. Something that was pretty much still true, just by now it was generously laced with irritation.

Spock regarded him for a bit longer and Jim still thought that those big, doe eyes were too pretty to be legal. The man was easy to look at and criminally smart and Jim thought they had the potential to get along great, if Spock didn't spend every minute of his free time being a major pain in the arse.

"May I suggest you concentrate on the reports, instead of watching me work, Captain Kirk?" Yep, there it was again. While Jim usually liked cheek, he really didn't like getting it directed at him; in front of the whole Alpha shift, no less.

"You may not, Commander." Jim replied, voice just as cool as the other man's had been.

And he knew the whole emotionless vulcans thing was a load of bull. He had seen the guy's eyes brighten whenever he was looking at a particularly interesting sample, or a spectacular enough sight behind the bridge windows or- actually pretty much anything that wasn't Jim.

"Wow, okay. Anyone else feels like it's gotten pretty cold in here..?" came a voice from his left and Jim didn't even bother to glance up at his friend, the only familiar name that bad been on the crew list. Why was Bones even still there anyway, didn't he have some running nose to prod and poke?

"I can assure you, Doctor McCoy, that the temperature had not changed in the slightest, as it is programmed to stable 20.5 degrees." And see, there was even amusement in his voice now that Spock was talking to someone who hadn't, in fact, commited some obscure atrocious crime.

Jim blanked out the snappish teasing that followed, usually ended by Lieutenant Uhura intervening or Bones huffing and stalking off, and instead stared at the forms in front of him. Request for supplies, prefilled by his workaholic Commander, only waiting for Jim to sign it and pretend he had been the one to do the work.

He wondered whether Spock had been doing Pike's paperwork as well or if the vulcan just didn't trust him to do his work.

As expected, it only took two more minutes for Bones to let himself out, but not without reminding Spock that he was due for a physical; a favourite threat of the CMO, as Jim had found out quickly enough.

He flicked his eyes up to see that Spock was back to sitting by his station, long limbs elegantly folded on the stool. He really had no right to make even parade rest look so attractive.

It was the first thing he had noticed, before he got lost in the man's unfairly deep eyes, before he even grabbed his hand to shake it and introduce himself, before he even noticed the rest of the crew. How his first officer and his CSO stood tall and unnaturally still, rigid and gorgeous. His skin pale and hair perfectly combed, just asking to get messed up, begging to be taken apart and marked all over.

Jim wrenched his eyes away and back to his screen, stopping the memory line before he could get to the cold tone of voice, the curiosity in brown eyes giving into shock and disgust, pushed away by ice cold indifference that somehow lingered up till this day.

It was the fifth day and he had won over everyone. Everyone but his first officer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Still reading? Wow okay, then, suit yourself.**

** By now the mood's been set, more people study than action and for now not even that much banter. But I do hope that will change. **

**Give me a shout if you've got any thoughts more coloured than 'meh'.**

* * *

_Captain's log, day 24 of our mission. Stardate 0922.8. Our mission to Tetra/Asaniteh was.. success as we had, indeed, secured enough samples to study the planet's primary chemical environment. Otherwise, it has been a total clusterfuck. See reports by CMO, CSO and myself._

Jim switched the recorder off, his mind helpfully supplying the 'While technically correct, I do not think that is an appropriate description, Captain Kirk'. Because Spock didn't say it. Because Spock was still in the medbay, bleeding, unconscious. Bones didn't say anything, either, because he was in the medbay, trying to save the three bleeding people Jim had brought back to the ship.

Two had died on spot, Spock was only alive because his heart had been shielded by a tricorder and Jim was only alive because Spock had shoved him to a side.

Jim really needed a drink.

They had been arguing, because of course they were. Jim's last words to his commander were to suggest where he could shove the regulations. Neither of them had noticed the life forms until they were under heavy fire, old-time bullets and laser beams mixed together, and up till this moment Jim wasn't completely sure what had happened.

Quite possibly the planet hadn't been as uninhabited as expected and if he had to place a bet, it would be on smugglers and insultingly good jammers.

From the orbit they continued scanning the planet's surface and Jim wanted- _needed_ to know if he was right, if the spikes in radio waves were in fact more than just space echoes. He counted the disturbances to find a pattern, one long wave, second, third..

He got shaken back awake by Uhura's soft hand and concerned voice,

"Captain..? Do you need me to call Nurse Chapel?" And Jim knew she meant well, but his fatigue and few bruises weren't worth the trip. He didn't deserve to be down there next to Ensign Moree and Doctor Kowalski. And Spock.

"Nah, no. I'm quite alright Lieutenant." Jim gave her a warm smile and straightened up, finally admitting to himself that he was obsessing. They were quite capable of scanning a damn planet on their own, no one needed him to stare over their shoulders, yawning. He reached for his Padd and continued counting waves.

He was pretty sure he fell asleep at some point again, because the Alpha shift was bidding him a good night and trickling out, Sulu appearing out of nowhere to offer him coffee and start with the Beta shift.

The waves were still the same frustrating wavy selves, nothing at all suggesting any form of communication was taking place. No unexplainable sources of energy. Fucking nothing that would in any way justify his three people struggling for their next breath.

It was the middle of the Beta shift when the lift door swished open and Jim was pretty damn pissed at the whole world so he didn't even look up to see who it was. The storm cloud above his head had to be enough to change the mind of anyone who would want to talk to him.

He caught the familiar scent of tea leaves and something not quite cinnamon and the footsteps stopped right next to him; if that hadn't been enough to give him a hint, then the collective inhale and bated breath of everyone present would have.

"Commander..?" Jim prompted when Spock just stood there, probably looking at the screen Jim himself was still staring fatalistically at. It was safer to keep his eyes there, because otherwise he would be staring at the vulcan and trying to strip him with his eyes. Not to be crude but to see his side, make sure he was supposed to be standing and walking around at all.

"Captain Kirk, Doctor McCoy requests your presence in the medbay." Spock said in that perfectly controlled voice, but something in the way he hesitated between words made Jim look up. Spock was looking at him, not with a cold emotionless politeness, not with badly hidden disdain, but.. worry maybe.

More than anything else _that_ shocked Jim enough to bite back protests, standing up to let Spock take over his seat. Normally Sulu would have been enough, but Spock had taken the Padd with their current progress, so that was probably what he was intending to do. "I'll go see what he wants, thank you." he said softly and that was where it was supposed to end, this whole fragile peace between them.

Only, it really didn't.

Jim didn't get anywhere further than halfway to the lift when Spock's voice halted him. Just 'captain'. No surname, no subtle hint to remind Jim that he wasn't Spock's captain, that the vulcan was only tolerating him because he had to. Jim spun around and saw Spock frown at him, but somehow.. not at him, personally.

"Yes, Commander Spock..?"

In Spock's hand was the Padd Jim had been using to write his mission report, the rough draft where he tried to understand what could have gone different.

"It is illogical to insist that the failure of our mission was in any way caused by your decisions." the vulcan said and Jim just gaped at him. "None of us had noticed the presence, therefore none of us would have been able to avoid what followed." Spock was still talking, oblivious to Jim's rapid thoughts; he had expected the man to correct him, insult him in a covert way, not.. practically explain that this hadn't been Jim's fault.

"I.. know." Jim managed at last, but it was probably enough for Spock, since the vulcan nodded at him and turned to sit properly in the chair.

"Also, intentionally neglecting your health is irrational. There is no need for you to be present on the bridge; failing to get enough rest will only negatively impact your performance." There it was, the expected berating, but in a very different way to what Jim had been dreading. It only made him smile, because he was pretty sure nothing could ruin his mood any more.

"I hear ya, Commander. No need to be worried." the turbolift door closed behind him before Spock could make the expected reply and Jim was grinning by the time he got to the medbay.


	3. Intermezzo

**Non-linear, as all the good things are. **

**Funny thing is that the whole unresolved tension thing is.. canon. Fifty percent of TOS is wistful staring and touching inappropriately (for a vulcan).**

**One day I'm gonna get high as a kite and write a story about Spock discovering memes.**

* * *

When Jim got to the mess hall, his second and his CMO were already there. He wouldn't call it eating, though, whatever those two were doing. Sure, all necessary requisitions were present; trays with their choice of meal, coffee and tea respectively, cutlery. However, neither of the two seemed to be paying any attention to the food, instead discussing something rather animatedly.

"So what is it today..?" Jim asked when he took his seat next to Spock, itching to sit further away so he could properly watch their debate.

"Proverbs." Bones said, actually spearing a piece of pasta with his fork to dubiously watch it for a moment and then eat. Of course, Bones wouldn't be Bones if he didn't pointedly glance at Jim's hamburger, looking disapproving.

Spock nodded in agreement, "Indeed."

"Oh dear." Jim said, amused. "Have we already gone through 'pointless' and 'illogical'?" He deserved that cutting glance from his commander, he really did.

"The obvious irrationality aside," the vulcan started, setting down his spoon with finality. It seemed like his soup would remain untouched for as long as the topic lasted. "What caught my-"

"No, no, no, Spock." McCoy stopped him with a raised palm, grinning evilly, "Nothing aside. We can't just disregard part of the problem as unimportant, can we."

Spock hesitated and then nodded, admitting him the point. "In this case the irrationally itself is debatable." he pointed out and okay, that made Jim stop chewing for a moment.

"Explain." he said, trying to sound like he didn't have half of his burger in his mouth, still in the process of chewing. Judging by the look he got, he wasn't very successful.

"Proverbs originally, before they had gotten integrated into casual terran conversational banks, served a purpose of a reminder. Majority of them concentrates on the cycle of terran year." Spock explained with the patience of a professor giving his favourite lecture.

"Yeah. Farmer stuff, get it. Before everyone knew how to read and use internet." Jim gave thumbs up, wondering whether Spock would see the need to remind him that internet had not, in fact, been a constant during Earth history. When he didn't speak up, Jim continued, "So first they were useful and after that everyone just got used to them. That's what's bothering you, Mr. Spock? That the proverbs no longer serve any purpose..?" Of course, knowing Spock, it wasn't that easy.

"From a part, yes." Spock inclined his head, not even bothering to argue the part about being bothered. "However, I do not find that to be so surprising. Doctor McCoy is a good example of how common that is. We are in space, doctor." Spock's eyebrow twitched in what Jim recognized as a full on smirk if it were on anyone else, "And yet, you still often mention 'God'."

"Now look here, you green-eared nightmare." Bones bristled, predictably, leaning across the table towards nonplussed Spock and Jim gave up any pretense of not being more interested in them than his food. "Aforementioned deity knows how difficult you are to deal with. Both of you. Fuck's sake." Bones said heatedly, gesturing between them with his fork.

Spock almost smiled, probably pleased that he got his point proven so easily, and picked his spoon to finally taste his cooling soup.

"Wait, wait." Jim protested, setting down the sad, limp remains of his burger now that he realized it had lost its appeal. "You're not gonna leave it like this, are you? You're not done."

Spock took a pointed sip of his soup and both him and Bones raised their eyebrow up in freaky coordination. Jim wasn't even mad they were ganging up on him; the amusement was clearly visible in Spock's eyes and Jim would kill to keep it there.

"Captain." the vulcan said in that I-am-so-shocked-right-now voice. "It almost seems like you approve of our.. discussion."

"He means argument. You find it funny that we argue, Jim? Hm?" Bones said and neither of them was doing a very good job of hiding a smirk.

Jim chuckled and shook his head, raising his hands up. "I give up. You win. But really, I'm just curious." And enjoying himself way too much, but that went unsaid. Everyone knew by now, anyway.

"Happiness is a loaded gun." Spock informed them with straight face- and probably even meant it, no matter how much he had lost Jim with just those few words.

"That's.. a proverb." Jim said slowly, because that was the only possibility that made any sense. His brain was still rebelling against Spock saying words like 'loaded gun'.

"Indeed." the commander raised both eyebrows, no doubt mocking him for his slow uptake. "You of course understand where the problem is."

Jim chanced a look at Bones, but as the doctor was too busy snickering into his coffee, he didn't offer any help.

"Guns..? I mean. Casual mentions of violence are off putting for a vulcan." he hazarded.

Spock didn't seem very impressed with the guess, not even by his usual standards. "That is of course correct." he allowed, "However it is not the issue."

Bones thankfully took that moment to stop being a pain and actually ceased his attempts to gurgle his drink, "Well why don't you explain it to us, Spock?"

"Doctor. I fail to see even one way as to how a 'loaded gun' could lead to happiness. Even if we ignore that every equation has two sides- therefore we have to have a person aiming the gun and a person being aimed at." Here the vulcan paused, probably solely for dramatic effect. Of course, Jim was pretty sure that if pressed, he would insist it was to give their puny human brains space to catch up. "We will all agree that the person being aimed at is no closer to achieving happiness for the experience."

Actually, Jim had to agree with that. Even if there was anyone that would be happy held at a gunpoint, it would be that.. /proverbial/ exception that proves the point. Somehow he wasn't in the mood to discuss adrenaline addiction or strange old-time terran kinks to his vulcan CSO.

Spock took their silence as the agreement it was and continued. "Therefore we have to concentrate on the person who is in possession of the gun." the vulcan concluded and by then Jim had a pretty clear picture of what was eating him. And also, because he was awesome like that and maybe had an unhealthy fixation with getting Spock all frustrated, he already had a counter-point prepared. "Whereas I simply cannot imagine owning a lethal weapon could in any way influence his happiness. It could aid him in a dangerous situation, but again, simply raising odds of survival does not guarantee a person to be happy."

Jim hadn't really been listening to the end, giddy with what he knew will follow. When Spock was done speaking he reached across the table, gently squeezing the man's wrist. "To properly understand this proverb, Mr. Spock, allow me to take you on a trip to 21st century." Jim said.

Spock inclined his head in a gesture that Jim translated as 'blow my mind, captain, my captain'.

"Imagine this. The world had been changing. There was yet another great war looming, people were uneasy, trouble stirring." Jim adopted a low voice, like that on its own could transport them through time and space. "The unfortunate trend of that time, if I remember it correctly, had been mass shooting."

Of course, that on itself would only prove Spock's point. However, the vulcan was listening raptly and didn't interrupt. Jim looked at him with a smile, startled when he noticed they were alone by the table. When did Bones leave?

"With that came the attempts to regulate gun ownership, of course. However, logically, whoever was planning to shoot at people wouldn't get stopped by law against guns. Anti-gun movements clashed with pro-gun movements. One civilian with a gun, after all, could stop a shooting terrorist before there are too many casualties. One gun in the right hand can save many lives."

Quiet followed and Jim watched Spock watch their hands, only then noticing that he had at some point started stroking his thumb against the green tinted wrist. He forced himself to stop and retreat his hand, watching enraptured as a splash of colour spread over Spock's nose and to his cheekbones.

"I see." was all that the vulcan said and then they were quiet for a bit longer. "Thank you, captain. For the explanation." Spock added and excused himself, tidying his tray and unfortunately leaving.

Though, now that Jim actually cared to look at the time, it was probably because they were both late.

* * *

Later, back in his chair on the bridge, he realized that Spock could have easily argued that stopping a lunatic did not, inevitably, lead to happiness. He would have been right to do so, too.

* * *

**Yes, I write 'vulcan' without capital "V", unless I am talking about the planet. Yes, I do have a reason. (humans = vulcans; humans = Vulcans?; Humans = Vulcans?)**

**Leave me a line.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Wow, a plot. Who would have thought, certainly not me. **

**Let me know what you think so far.**

* * *

"It's irresponsible and irrational!" In the conference room 3, Spock continued on what Jim was tempted to call a tirade, sans the shouting and pacing people usually involved.

"Irritating, irregular-" Bones added, reclining in his chair and studiously staring at the ceiling and Jim blinked at him few times, completely lost for a moment.

"Excuse me, doctor McCoy?" Spock asked and at least he turned his icy not-glare away from Jim, because he had been starting to worry about frostbites.

"Oh sorry, Mr. Spock, I thought we were, you know, finding words that start with 'ir'." Bones continued and honestly, Jim could have kissed him, just for the few seconds of silence. And he also got to watch his high and mighty first officer go through vulcan version of spluttering, so that was entertaining.

But it was time for him to get involved, since unlike Bones he actually knew what's goten Spock's regulation underwear in a twist. "I am not leaving without answers. I want to know what got two of my people killed." he insisted, arms akimbo as he tried to, unsuccessfully, stare the vulcan down. God, this would have been much easier if Spock wasn't such a damn pain all the time- and right about things just as often.

"Beaming back down to the surface is an unnecessary risk. You are willing to endanger more of your crew in /hopes/ of finding an answer." Spock's eyes were narrowed a tiny bit, which probably meant he was absolutely livid.

"We need to find out who those people were!" Jim refused to back down, voice raised above the strictly polite volume. It frustrated him that Spock remained as quiet as normal, even though the tone of his voice was far from pleasant. Or polite, for that matter. And to think they had managed a civil conversation yesterday. Jim wrote it off as Spock coming off of some drugs after getting his side wound taken care of.

"In situations of this character, we are to mark the location on galactic map and inform the Command. The regulations cite, that-"

"I don't care!" Jim interrupted, pushing himself up from his chair at the front of the table, deciding to filter some of his frustration by pacing. "We are the only ship in this quadrant, Commander. And we know what to expect! Anyone else would be risking far more than us, not even taking into account that the closest ship is at least 15 days of travel away from here."

Spock let him finish, because of course he did. It only annoyed Jim further, that even now, the vulcan was perfectly composed and proper. "We are a science ship, Captain Kirk. The crew is not prepared for situations of this nature, nor are we equipped for them." he protested, actually rather sensibly, but Jim wasn't in any mood to back down.

"Then instead of arguing with me, you should be doing your work and trying to figure out how to equip the away team." Jim rounded back on him, arms across his chest and jaw clenched. He was sure they will find a way to adjust Klingon kevlar chest plates for their uses, easy. It was the laser beams that would be tricky, normally an energy field of some sort could work, but they had yet to figure out how to create a mobile version of it.

Spock was quiet, either thinking along the same lines or maybe just taking the moment to assess Jim's mental state. Technically, he could go over the captain's head and inform the Command, if he had any doubts that Kirk was stable and rational. Jim stared right back, projecting more confidence than he felt.

"Very well." Spock was the first one to look away, giving a miniscule nod. "Goodnight, Doctor McCoy, Captain Kirk." With that he took himself out, closing the door quietly behind himself. It would have shaken Jim less if he slammed them shut, instead.

Jim felt like he could finally breath and he collapsed into a chair, finding Bones watching him curiously.

"What." Jim prompted, readying himself for the next round of arguments.

But the doctor just shook his head and smiled slightly, "Nothing. Just be careful down there."

That should have been the end of it.

* * *

The next morning Jim got up early, heading into the same conference room to take a look at a 3D map of their mysterious planet's surface. He only stopped to get a mug of coffee on his way, fully expecting to be the only one wandering the ship at that hour. It was just before five, meaning the next change of shifts won't be in over an hour. Everyone who wasn't working was sleeping or slowly trickling to get some food.

So he was pretty surprised when the door swished open and there was Spock, quietly speaking to Sulu over the map. Both straightened up when he arrived, but Jim waved them off before they could properly salute. It was too damn early for protocol.

"What d'you have?" he joined them by the table, looking at those tiny pins signing where their encounter had been, as well as few that he couldn't immediately place.

"We have managed to locate several minor anomalies when monitoring the radio waves." Spock spoke up, gesturing in turn to each yellow headed pin. There were twenty-five of them, seemingly randomly spread over an area that could have two kilometres on diameter, at most. "At first, I assumed those are simply our own radio waves reflected back, however, as you have noticed all of the anomalies are not only in groups of five.." there the vulcan indicated five irregular shapes. "But also only appearing within this part of the planet."

Jim blinked and looked back down. Sure, he had noticed that the pins were all together, but he had thought it was just the area that Spock had been concentrating on. If there really weren't any other ones anywhere else, then..

"This could be caused by a significant difference in geological structure."

'Could'. Jim was so giddy he wanted to squeal, every negative thought of this morning erased.

"Percentage of that being the case, Commander Spock?" he prompted, moving to sit comfortably in a chair, watching the two others exchange a look.

"Approximately 9.12, Captain Kirk."

"We think that these might be small generators." Sulu joined the conversation, waving his hand above the map, picking up one of the groups of five to circle his finger around it. "They might seem random, but if we take vertical drop into account, they are all in the exact same distance from a point in the middle."

Jim leaned forward at that, mentally going through the calculations, even though he was sure Spock wouldn't have made a mistake of this sort, ever. "Small generators." he repeated thoughtfully, "Five underground bases, energy shield generator strong enough to cover them whole." That should be impossible. No shield should be able to reflect back the exact amount of waves that normally bounced off of the planet's surface; if they were right, the technology was more creative - if not more advanced as well - than what Starfleet had access to.

"That's what we think, Captain." Sulu agreed with a nod.

"Which suggests a question.. what is there worth hiding? It's a small planet. Unless we missed something, there's not even that much mineral resources. Have you found anything unusual in the samples we've taken..?" Jim asked Spock, only to get his hopes shot down when the vulcan shook his head,

"The initial tests are still running, Captain Kirk." he explained and okay, Jim should have known that. This wasn't a movie, tests actually took time to run full circle.

The room was quiet for a moment as the two let Jim have his moment to sort through the new information. When he was done with that, the captain raised his head with a smirk, "Well, Commander? Conclusion." he prompted.

Spock seemed reluctant to speak up, but in the end gave up, letting out a small sigh, "I believe your.. 'hunch' has been correct, Captain Kirk." the vulcan said slowly, like every word of the sentence pained him and Jim kind of wanted to get it on tape. He could listen to this every time he felt like screaming in the guy's face, it'd do wonders for his temper.

"Thank you." Jim said pleasantly, "Mr. Sulu, please gather five volunteers for the away mission. We will beam down at 12 hours sharp. Commander Spock, I will need a scientist down there. Either volunteer, or pick one of your men to accompany me." He now had twenty minutes and the duration of his shift to figure out where would be the best spot for beam-down. Difficult, but not impossible.

They both nodded and headed to the door, but Jim halted Spock by a hand on the man's arm. Admittedly, the commander didn't immediately twitch away like he usually did when someone dared to touch him, but he did step aside and out of Jim's reach, waiting expectantly.

Jim was quiet until Sulu was safely out of the room before raising his eyebrows at the man, "How long did this thing take, Commander?" Jim asked sharply, motioning towards the map. Now that he thought about it, there was still one colour of pins they hadn't gotten around to discussing. Yellow for the anomalies, red for the enemies they had encountered, blue for their away team. What were the green ones for?

"Approximately 7 hours, Captain Kirk." Spock answered, brows slightly furrowed as he no doubt tried to figure out what was Jim getting upset about.

"Great. I mean.. look, I appreciate this, I do, but you can't go without sleeping any more than I can." Jim reminded. 7 hours, damn. They had seen each other 8 hours ago, meaning Spock went to take a shower, change into clean clothes and get some food, before spending his whole night bent over a map. Fucking stubborn vulcans; being irrational about his health was Jim's job.

"I do plan on resting before the beam down, Captain." Spock replied pointedly and Jim immediately softened; this was getting dangerous, he couldn't always go mushy when Spock decided not to add his surname to the title. He refused to get wrapped around the man's green finger.

"See that you do, Commander." Jim said firmly, trying to fight back a grin. Of course Spock would volunteer; emotionless or not, he was a curious being. "Now, green pins..?"

"Ah." Spock turned his attention to the map, fooling exactly no one since Jim /knew/ he hadn't forgotten. "Me and Mr. Sulu had marked the possible places for our away team's arrival." Spock explained and Jim had to fight not to gape at him. That green-blooded, pointy-eared-!

"When exactly were you planning on informing me about these?" Jim asked with forced calm, still pretty much shocked to the core. Had it been anyone else, he would think this had been a set up; that Spock would have just let him go through the planning on his own, laughing when Jim would inevitably notice that his own pins were suspiciously too close to those mysterious green ones. But surely Spock wouldn't do that, would he..?

"You have not asked, Captain." Spock replied primly, earning himself another incredulous look. Jim was torn between wanting to strangle him and kiss him.

"When we get back, Commander Spock, we will play chess." Jim announced, turning his attention back to the model in front of him. He didn't see the confused look Spock gave him, only heard the door slide shut thirty seconds later, the commander rightly noticing the dismissal.

* * *

At 12 hours sharp, Jim, Spock and Scotty met with ensigns Adriana Luther, Melville Doon, Charlie Eric Newman and junior lieutenants Henry Kwan and Erica Pasadili. Scotty handed around crude vests from dark grey fabric, thin enough to be worn under their uniforms. They were far heavier then they looked, though, so Jim quickly dismissed the idea of making them standard equipment for away missions.

"So that's gonna work against bullets..?" Jim asked curiously as he tugged off his shirt, pulling the vest on his bare skin. It was cold and uncomfortable, but much less than a bullet would have been. The rest of the team followed suit, wearing the vest securely in between an undershirt and their uniform shirt.

"It should, Capt'n. Rather don't try, though." the engineer warned, helping ensign Doon tuck the vest into his pants.

"Great. People, try not to get shot." Jim translated with a grim smile, ushering the team towards the platforms. He made sure they all had their comms and junior lieutenant Pasadili was carrying a first aid backpack.

Spock moved to stand on the other side of the platform to Jim and the captain gave him a small nod. "For the duration of the mission, our communicators have been adjusted to send shorter radio waves than is usual- or practical in any other situation." the vulcan raised his own comm to show the red light slowly blinking on it's top. "This way our communication will be difficult to intercept, however, it will not be possible to communicate from a distance longer than twenty meters. If you for any reason need to connect with a communicator further away, simply remove the chip in here," Spock opened the back of the comm and pointed to a chip next to its battery.

Jim watched with a small grin as the vulcan waited for them all to nod, before he continued, probably worried too much information would fry their tiny brains or something.

"In that situation, you are advised to relocate immediately. The captain and myself will be carrying additional, powered off communicator, and will be the only ones able to hail the Enterprise."

Spock looked over the away team's heads to Jim, raising an eyebrow to signal that he was done with the explanation. Jim gave him a thumbs up and turned to Scotty, "Energise."

* * *

**I love the idea of Jim being the one to teach Spock chess (vulcans probably wouldn't approve of board games, even those based on strategy [plottwist, tons of boardgames are based on strategy]). And I'd also love to go trough all the not-flirting happening there. However, my knowledge of chess is poor and I've got no idea what're the terms in English, so I'm really curious how that one will pan out.**

**Oh yeah, I have those ')][(' thingies in wrong mathematical order.**


	5. Chapter 4

**TW: dubious science**

* * *

The planet was still just as picturesque as it had been the last time, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to appreciate it. At least they were a few miles away from where his two crewmembers had died, he wasn't sure he could handle seeing the bodies and not burying them, at least.

"Alright." Jim turned to his team, making a battle plan. "Commander, you and miss Pasadili will head to the closest generator. See if you can get a proper scan of it. Me and ensign Newman will cover you from West, ensign Doon and junior lieutenant Kwan from East." he turned to the remaining member of the team and handed her his deactivated communicator. "Ensign, find a hill or a rock and watch the commander's progress. In any sign of emergency, call for immediate extraction."

Spock reached to get the first aid pack from his team member like the annoyingly perfect gentleman he was and helped her set up their compass. "Captain Kirk, it would be wise for your team and for junior lieutenant Kwan's team to stay close enough for our communicators to connect. If any of you encountered any trouble, I should be able to signal your need for extraction to ensign Luther." the vulcan turned to Jim while Erica was still busy fiddling with her electronic map.

Jim sighed slightly, raising an eyebrow, "I thought that was implied, commander." he muttered with a small shake of his head.

Spock gave a small nod and that was it.

* * *

They had no reason to waste time and so each team promptly headed it's designed way. The planet was not that different from Earth in the end, even though the base chemicals making up the environment slightly varied. While it wouldn't be wise - or safe - to breathe the air for a longer period of time, it was fresh and had enough oxygen to make the walk a pleasant one. There were also enough trees and hills to suitably cover them, should anyone be watching.

Jim made sure to stay hidden as his team continued tracking the progress of Spock's team, the vulcan popping visible from the right direction every five minutes to signal his whereabouts.

It was almost ridiculously easy and that more than anything made Jim nervous. Considering how their last visit to the planet went, smooth sailing stank of a trap.

He kept the morbid thoughts to himself, though, only advising Spock to proceed carefully when his team neared the first generator. Or so the vulcan said, because exactly at that moment Jim just couldn't get him in a clear line of sight. Damned trees.

"Stay on the spot, I'll try to establish eye-contact.." Jim muttered into his communicator, continuing forward until they came to a small hill, unfortunately covered in what looked like bramble, thorns and all.

"On two hours from your last known position should be a clearing, captain. There is a single tree in the middle of it; you should have a clear sight from there. However, you would also be fairly visible."

Jim looked around and quickly located the mentioned place, heading that way. "I'll keep to the edge of the trees, see if that'd help." he replied, pocketing the comm to concentrate on finding the easiest path. They had to go slightly uphill and just as any other unkempt part of woods, the ground was full of treacherous holes and crawling with wines. He would hate to have to call Enterprise for pick up, just because of a sprained ankle.

It took them embarrassingly long to get to that clearing, the ground slippery and all the branches low enough to grab onto were too thin not to snap. Jim spent most of those ten minutes cursing under his breath. He was a spaceship captain, he shouldn't have to spend his days struggling through a thorny bush.

"Confirmed visual, captain." Spock didn't even give him a moment to catch a breath when they finally, finally fell out of the last bush. But a good point, Jim took a quick look around and backed into a spot of high grass. Not a good enough cover if anyone was looking their way, but sufficient.

"I can see you, too. Scan the thing, commander, but be ready for hasty retreat if that gets you any unwanted attention."

From his point Jim could watch through binoculars as Spock directed Pasadili deeper into the cover of trees and knelt down, aiming his tricorder at a small device. It looked suspiciously like a tin can, aside of a thin antenna like thing emerging from it's top.

Spock let the tricorder work and circled the device slowly around, no doubt wanting to see if the energy it emitted spread evenly in all directions.

"It seems it is, indeed, one piece of a shield generator." Spock's voice translated through Jim's communicator and the captain grinned, giddy with their find. He wanted nothing more than to snatch the thing and bring it aboard to poke and prod, but until he was sure they would survive that attempt, he wasn't risking it.

"How does it work, commander?" Jim asked eagerly, even though right now they could only pose a guess. The data will be saved on Spock's tricorder and they will run it trough Enterprise mainframe before even trying to make some sense of it.

"It seems it creates a strange electromagnetic field, to the point of vibrating air-" the connection cut smoothly, not even a crackle to hint at interference. Before Jim had the time to address the cold hand squeezing his lungs and properly panic, Spock's voice was back, "-out proper equipment."

Jim took half a minute to calm down his breath while Spock obviously waited for him to say something. He got him back in the sight of his binoculars, seeing that Spock was back to crouching by the device, not done scanning it.

"You were walking around, commander?"

"Affirmative, captain." Spock answered and it was yet another proof of just how clever the vulcan was, that the answer was quickly followed by a, "Did you experience any sort of disturbance?" Jim smiled at how excited - in his own way - the vulcan sounded, no doubt as eager to figure this mystery as Jim was.

"The connection got lost for few seconds. No static, nothing. Step into the inner circle for a bit, then back out. Tell me if you hear me talk." Jim instructed, watching as Spock moved to do as told. For lack of any better idea he started slowly counting, only stopping by fiftyseven when Spock returned back to the starting point.

"Captain, the connection got cut off completely." Spock announced, voice perfectly even, but Jim wasn't fooled. The vulcan was just as giddy about this as he was.

See, things in common already. Now to decide what to actually do about it. "Commander, take a stun gun from Pasadili, I'll want you to proceed further." Jim said slowly, really trying to think of a different way. In ideal world he would have suggested they switch, but while they weren't exactly pressed by time, Jim didn't want to waste half an hour of it uselessly, either. "Not far away, certainly not out of mine and Pasadili's sight. Head towards the middle."

"Understood." Spock answered and Jim watched as he took the gun. "I will proceed with caution, captain."

"Do that, yeah. When you get behind the barier, try if you can use your tricorder to scan for lifeforms. As soon as you know if there's anyone, come right back out. No heroics, commander." Jim said firmly, chewing at his bottom lip.

This time Spock didn't acknowledge him verbally and just nodded, probably confident that Jim wouldn't dare look away from him at the moment. The joke was on him, Jim never really looked away from him, ever.

Next to Jim Newman shifted on the ground, either uncomfortable in the cold grass or just bored with the proceedings, but the man still kept a hold of his stun gun, adapted to long range by way of adding a set of optics and reprogramming the setting. "Newman, go join miss Pasadili." Jim directed, deciding that he would rather send the man tumbling down the slight hill than risk him dozing off with a finger on a trigger.

Newman saluted and down he went, but Jim didn't bother watching his progress; he had Spock to follow, equal parts impressed and proud at how easily the vulcan seemed to use every nook and croon to continue forward hidden from everyone's sight but his. And Pasadili's.

Soon, however, Jim couldn't find him in between the greens and rocks, either. He set away his binoculars and watched the whole shielded area for any sign of movement; be it Spock's.. or not.

Twenty minutes of absolutely nothing and he was starting to regret that he hadn't sent _himself_ down there instead, leaving Newman to take care of the watch. But too late.

Twenty more minutes and in between a blink Spock was right back in the lense of his binoculars, looking all tall and.. sciency and perfectly alright, speaking quietly with Pasadili.

The comm by Jim's side crackled right as he was about to reach for it, Spock's voice coming through,

"Captain, I have scanned the whole area and there are no life forms larger than insects. From the distance I noticed a strange object in the middle; I believe it could be beneficial to approach it."

"I agree." Jim replied immediately. There was no force in the whole universe that could stop him from getting there and finally, finally figuring out what this whole thing was about. Now for the logistics..

"Newman, back up here, you'll keep watch. Pasadili, you'll stay where you are while we go deeper inside." Jim started, mulling over the second team, camped in a position mirror to his own in relation to Spock's. "Kwan, you keep watch from the other side, Doon come join us." he decided.

He waited for them to confirm their orders one by one and then Jim pocketed the comm, preparing to slide down the hill with at least some dignity left.

* * *

Slightly dirty, but in one piece, Jim joined his second in command by the generator. Spock still seemed deeply fascinated by what was basically a glorified tin can and Ensign Doon was already there, too.

"Let's go, team. Spock, you've got your compass? Great. Take us to the centre."

That legendary centre was a small paved platform nestled in between three hills. It seemed to be made from concrete, no wider than two meters in diameter. Jim was perfectly ready to be disappointed, but then Spock crouched down faster than Jim's eyes could follow, pushing away a bit of grass by the platform's edge to reveal a grey cube.

"Same material as the tin can?" Jim asked, crouching down by another one, found almost parallel to the one Spock had uncovered. Ensign Doon circled the platform and found three more, evenly spread around it.

To give him credit, Spock didn't hesitate at Jim's simile, giving a small nod as he continued scanning the cube. "It seems so, captain, yes. The waves are on a different frequency, though. I believe I should be able to connect to the broadcast."

And so this whole thing was getting more and more interesting. Jim abandoned his staring at cubes and instead observed the platform instead. It was just tiny bit above the ground, the sides were dirty with soil. The middle, however, seemed too clean for it to be a coincidence. Like an often walked trail in the middle of a dusty corridor.

"Think it might be a transporter of sorts..?" Jim cocked his head to a side, crouching down to trace the slight bumps at the edge of the concrete. Like with dirt, the middle of it was disturbingly smooth.

"Perhaps." Spock said slowly and Jim chanced a look at him, smiling fondly as he could almost see the calculations going through his Vulcan's head. "There must be an energy source underneath the concrete, however. And even so, the range would not be much longer than.. two kilometers for the transfer to be safe."

"So in between one and the next platform..?" Jim prompted. If it worked similarly to their ship's transporters, it would be risky to work with a direct line that leads through so many trees and stuff, but.. just like with the shielding technology, he fully expected to be impressed.

Spock seemed to think along the same lines, fiddling with his compass to glance the way the closest other area was. "That would be possible."

Jim grinned and straightened up in the middle of the platform, raising both eyebrows at his second in command, "Well, Mr. Spock..?" he prompted, getting the man's attention. Spock simply raised an eyebrow in an answer, even though he must have known what was Jim asking. He was just being a stubborn pain, making him say it. "Can you beam us there?"

Another moment of hesitation and then another nod, "Yes. However, I will need ten minutes."

Jim was a bit disappointed that he won't get to jump straight into the adventure, but he could survive waiting ten minutes. He gestured at Spock and returned to walking around, studying the concrete in hopes of finding anything that would suggest it could be moved. He would have liked to see the hidden energy source.

Ten minutes flew past them like nothing and Jim almost bounced back to the spot, joined by Ensign Doon and Spock himself.

"Ready, captain Kirk, Ensign Doon?" the vulcan spoke up, glancing at them with a thumb hovering above his Padd.

"Fire it, Commander!" Jim announced just for the pleasure of having Spock's displeased look turned his way and then his breath was getting squeezed out of his lungs.

It wasn't that different from getting beamed to a planet and he forced himself to continue breathing as he felt like his whole body was getting sucked through a thin straw. He could taste the static, felt like he had hair on his insides and they were all standing up from the electricity.

It all took about half a second.

First thing he noticed was Dion's panicked inhale as the man figured out exactly why wasn't it wise to hold his breath during transportation. The echo of the sound was all wrong, though.

Jim opened his eyes and instead of the expected scenery of strangely shaped trees and purplish green grass saw- yeah, grey walls, wooden crates, blinking lights. They were inside of a ship.

Part of the monolith grey wall slid to a side somehow without there being any visible movement or audible sound of machinery and in fell a group of four humanoids in full gear, fully armed, seemingly just as surprised about the three of them being there as they were.

"Ans arde hrokak, slak did hrokak shi ennar?" one of the humanoids called from inside of his helmet, his voice low and rough with slight mechanic echo and Jim didn't need to understand the language to know what they were asked to do. He dropped his switched off stun gun and raised his arms above his head.

* * *

**Come yell at me.**


	6. Second Intermezzo

**lunchbreak sonata continues**

* * *

When it came to most things, Jim was a big supporter of taking responsibility for his own actions; it had worked for him in the past, helped him both to earn respect of his more experienced colleagues and to learn from his mistakes.

But this once, just this once, he blamed Uhura.

* * *

The few weeks ago when she had jokingly offered to teach him about Vulcan culture, well, she probably had no idea how many things had been set in motion. No, honestly, all she could have noticed was the unholy light in Jim's eyes and the positively evil grin that suddenly appeared on his face, given, of course, that she had raised her eyes from her datapad and whatever new and fascinating customs she had been studying. Which she hadn't.

As it was, when Jim agreed with her offer, the most doubts she could have had were him being unable to sit still for longer than twenty minutes. Which, not fair, even though he preferred to pace around during meetings of any sort; but he was an adult. He could behave if it got him something that he wanted.

* * *

_Vulcans were peaceful._ Yes, yes, Jim had already heard that so many times, but there were times that he actually considered it and rarely he even understood. It wasn't a fancy way of excusing cowardice. It was.. it was everything. It was the gentle way in which Spock talked to his scientists, it was the way the man gushed about his stupid glowing rocks, it was the way he always knew exactly what to say when faced with hostility or, on many occasions, slurs and racism.

_Vulcans were touch-telepaths._ Again, something Jim had been aware of for a very long time, but still each time he remembered, a jolt of guilt-shame-regret ran through his body. How many times had he brushed his skin against Spock's, pushing his thoughts into the man's mind with no regard whether he would want to hear them? Jim hadn't known and Spock had forgiven him months ago; when the thoughts started showing less crude interest and more awed respect, possibly.

Vulcan language was something that him and Uhura spent every Tuesday evening over, the woman tirelessly correcting Jim's pronunciation.

But it wasn't either of those that had stroked his mischievous interest; not even the tiny bit about chocolate that Uhura had been hesitant to tell him- as if Jim would ever want to drug his second officer. As if he himself wouldn't fucking _obliterate_ anyone who would dare to do that. No, it wasn't that. What got him grinning in glee instead of sulking when Spock yet again gave him the cheek on the bridge were the Vulcan customs for courting.

* * *

One long, uneventful Saturday Jim finally got the opportunity to put his plan into motion. That week Jim was on Alpha shift and Spock on the opposite Gamma, so they had agreed to meet in Jim's quarters- Jim for lunch after his shift and before his paperwork afternoon and Spock for breakfast before his shift.

Normally Spock wouldn't have agreed to hole up and eat somewhere so separated from the rest of the crew, but Jim had tempted him with a game of chess.

The buzz of the door communication system came exactly at the agreed upon time and Jim took a look around to make sure everything was ready for the Vulcan's presence- the room was tidy, chess board ready, and, there on the side of the small table that Spock usually favoured, was a bowl of soup, steaming innocently.

"Come on in, Mr. Spock!" Jim beckoned him inside with a grin that only widened more at Spock's gentle nod of a greeting. It struck Jim as almost odd, a moment of reflection, just how could he have ever struggled with his first officer? How could he have not just _known_ all the little things from the very beginning? His Vulcan was complicated, but in the most logical ways. And it was not that difficult to connect the dots and arrive to the conclusion that he preferred being a scientist to being an officer. These days Jim forgoed the "commander" even on bridge, opting for the semi-formal middle ground.

"Thank you, Captain." Though maybe one day he will get them to first name basis, even outside of life threatening situations. It was alright, he had the rest of their lives for it.

Finally Jim shook himself out of his thoughts and stepped to a side to allow his guest inside; he was glad to see that Spock hadn't thought his hesitation rude and was instead regarding him with mild amusement in his warm, expressive eyes. "A demanding shift..?" the Vulcan prompted after the door swished shut behind them, no doubt wanting to hear what got Jim staring into space like that.

"Ah, no, not at all. Just one of those.. contemplative moods." Jim admitted. He turned around to walk Spock towards the table and he could pinpoint the exact second his vulcan noticed that something was amiss.

Instead of going straight for his spot, Spock just sort of hovered next to the table, obviously not sure what Jim expected him to do. He hadn't made it clear that the steaming bowl was there for Spock, after all, even if they both knew it was one of his favourite dishes. But of course, Jim could have just been wanting to try it out and the change in seating arrangement could have been accidental.

So he was lying in wait, leaving the next move to the captain. And who was Jim to not deliver, right?

"But I promise my mind will be as sharp as ever when I defeat you in chess." Jim promised, chest feeling all sorts of warm when Spock's lips quirked in a smile at the inside joke. They had inside jokes these days, tons of them and Jim cherished every single one of them. He also moved to tap in a second request into his food dispenser, getting a plate with baked potatoes and steak to bring to his usual spot.

They were both quiet for a minute, Jim grinning to himself. He had to deploy all of his willpower to not start humming as he sat down comfortably, cutlery ready next to his plate.

Few more seconds passed and then Spock finally sat down opposite, folding his long limbs with an unfair amount of grace. There was also a slight green tilt to his cheekbones that Jim pretended not to notice but was cackling gleefully over in the privacy of his own mind.

Spock cleared his throat, shifting his own bowl the tiniest bit to the left so it was resting perfectly on that designated spot that only Spock could see in the geometrical lines of the table. "You do remember that Doctor McCoy disapproves of your diet, Jim..?"

Wow, Jim could have melted on the spot. There were all of his favourites in just that one short sentence; his name, concern hidden behind teasing and the gentle teasing itself. It just seemed today was Jim's day.

Instead of answering verbally he found Spock's eyes across the table and pointedly raised his fork, getting that first indulgent taste of his food. He even hummed his appreciation - once he was done swallowing, of course, he did have manners from time to time - at the taste of it, getting yet another fondly exasperated look for his trouble.

"I really doubt anything Bones does could ever make me eat healthy." Jim admitted, grinning at the slight narrowing of Spock's eyes. Annoyance, perhaps, at Jim disregarding his health, but somehow it seemed more like a.. a challenge. For what he wasn't sure, but he knew his officer enough to expect the revelation with badly hidden glee. "But I'll tell him you are siding with him, that should make him happy."

"'Happy' is not something I expect the good doctor has in his repertoire." Spock answered and yep, that was what had been missing, poking fun of Bones.

Jim would have loved to go on, but Spock picked that exact moment to raise his spoon and swirl it around in his soup and Jim was too busy holding his breath to be saying anything. Spock raised his eyes briefly and, finding Jim watching him, dropped them back down quickly, just a flutter of his lashes and a flash of brown.

His cheeks were green again when he finally tasted his soup.

And Jim, Jim could sing.

Up till that second he had been half expecting Spock to go the same way he had gone before, with Chapel, namely throwing the food in Jim's face. Of course he knew, logically, that the circumstances were diametrally different, but still.

He didn't notice the silence they had lapsed into until they were both done with their food and Spock was standing up, helping himself to Jim's food dispenser to get a cup of tea. With his back to the room Jim couldn't watch him, but he was pretty sure the man spent more time over there than what was necessary for tapping in one simple code. With that said, he was utterly unsurprised when a cup of coffee landed in front of him even before his Vulcan officer moved back into his line of vision.

"Why thank you, Mr. Spock." Jim acknowledged the gesture in a warm voice, "You indulge me today. Just so you know, when Bones asks I'll tell him you gave me caffeine."

Spock's eyebrow twitched in what was basically the vulcan way of rolling eyes, "Perhaps if you directed your energy to your chess games, instead, you would manage to tilt our win-lose ratio more in your favour." the vulcan answered, one eyebrow briefly raised.

Jim grinned at him, pulling the board in between them, "Be cheeky all you want, Mr. Spock, but we both know I am winning right now." He didn't necessarily mean chess with that and for a second he wasn't sure if Spock would realize, but he needn't have worried; his first officer was smart, after all, and much better at reading people than what he admitted to.

"For now," was his answer even as Spock reached his hand to make the first move, "But it is too early to be naming victors, Captain."

* * *

Jim wanted to have it remembered that he was a genius. No, really. Perhaps he didn't have an exact calculator built into his pretty brain like some others that he could name, but both his IQ and social intelligence quotient were far up above average. Connecting two and two was easy enough.

_A thing to consider, number one_: Jim had made a pretty grand gesture, even though he had hidden it behind a veil of challenge. Though yes, if he had been following the rules down to a T, he should have first dialled up Spock's parents to get the go-ahead. And he hadn't, sure. However, they weren't on Vulcan and Jim was just a lame human, _and_ if they ever got around to talking about it and Spock hinted that he would want that part to happen, Jim could always do it later.

_A thing to consider, number two:_ Spock had accepted the challenge, Jim had seen it in his eyes. So if they somehow ended up married by vulcan customs without ever properly talking about it, it would be because neither of them knew how to back out of a challenge.

_A thing to consider, number three:_ nothing happened after that.

Three weeks had passed and nothing at all had happened and it was driving Jim up the walls.

Was this Spock's subtle way of hinting that he wasn't interested in this particular game? Or was he just sitting back, waiting for Jim to make the next step? Or was he lulling him into a false sense of security to catch him off guard, later? Personally, the third one was Jim's favourite, but _it had been three weeks!_

He slumped further into his fancy captain chair, fingers drumming against one of the arms.

Three weeks and there Spock was, hovering behind Chekov's chair while the two went full geek-out over readings on the kid's screen. A sight that would normally raise his mood considerably for the rest of the day, but this time it didn't even chip at the iceberg of sulking that was hovering above Jim's head. Were there even icebergs in space?

Today in particular had been pretty bad. After two months they finally met at the Alpha shift when Spock finished his rotation and Jim got rid of those annoying sneezing fits that he caught on space station OI. And so there they were, sharing the bridge for six hours a day this week, significantly multiplying the time that they had for each other. And still nothing.

And Jim didn't know _why_.

Studying Spock's behaviour helped with exactly nothing, considering the guy liked to be as expressive as a closed book, wrapped in newspaper, bagged in a plain black bag and with all it's pages blackened, just for good measures.

"Captain, is there a problem..?" Ah, it seemed Jim's faithful second in command finally clocked onto the mood he was in, like Jim had expected him to. Like Jim had wanted him to.

He had wanted Spock to ask and then he had wanted to tell him that it was nothing to worry about, just to earn that tempting higher ground in their non-existent fight. He had wanted it so badly, for Spock to know that something was wrong and yet to refuse him answers, but now he just felt bad for that, too.

"Simply a.. misunderstanding, I think." Jim answered instead, even managing a small smile just for the sake of his CSO. It was a good choice, because something in Spock's eyes softened and Jim felt like he could breathe a bit easier.

"Then I hope you resolve it to your satisfaction." Spock answered, for a moment lapsing into contemplative silence. Jim wondered whether Spock realized he was the main source of the issue. Then again, if he hadn't, now he was probably connecting the dots. "I dislike seeing you so burdened, Jim." the vulcan added and even squeezed Jim's shoulder. Through a layer of clothes, but still, _wow_, initiating physical contact all of a sudden? On the bridge?

Jim itched to tease him for the lack of professionalism - Spock even called him by his name! _On the bridge_! - but rather chose to indulge himself and accept the fragile peace offering. If Spock realized or not, Jim knew the vulcan wouldn't have worried him on purpose.

"_Kai'idth_, Mr. Spock. Or as we Earthlings like to say, shit happens." Jim just wished it didn't always have to happen to him in particular.

"Indeed."

* * *

Lunchtime caught him in a slightly better mood, at least until Bones strode to the bridge just a minute before the end of the shift, smirking all smug like he was prone to doing. The CMO didn't even say anything, just lurked by the lift ready to pounce onto his unsuspecting victim.

Jim had a feeling it was going to be him and he already sorted through a list of possible excuses, if Bones was dead set on dragging him to the med bay.

The crew piled out and next shift piled in, Jim quickly passing his notes on to Sulu.

When he got to the lift, Bones and Spock were waiting for him in comfortable silence. No snark, no teasing, nothing, which meant they were conspiring against Jim.

Yes, he had been told that he got paranoid from time to time, but he was also pretty sure he was right this time.

Also, that psychologist who had come to him with that life-changing observation, had later on tried to murder him, so..

"Ready for lunch, gentlemen..?" he asked without giving a hint that he was on to them, keeping a perfect poker face.

..one, that both his friends most probably saw right through, but it was the attempt that counted.

"After you, Jim." Bones ushered him inside and so Jim went, waiting for the two to join him before he pressed the right button.

The turbolift jerked and wheezed for a second and off they were.

"Any news on my brand new allergy?" Jim asked, leaned against a wall as they went. Otherwise they all would have probably stayed stubbornly quiet. And also because he was actually curious.

"Well," Bones shrugged, "I got a few samples from the planet, but mostly I think it was the groundskeeper's fur."

"Yeah, the.. fur." Jim was still reeling from that. The creature looked like a normal human, acted like a human, spoke with a vague Old-Europian accent. And was covered from head to toe in thick, colour changing fur. "But wouldn't it have stopped after we got back to the ship? I took like fifty showers.."

"You didn't swell up and die, so that sneezing could have just been your body filtering out the rest of the spores. Or working through the shock, reflex." Bones answered. For Jim's tastes he sounded way too unconcerned at the moment, but then again, if the doctor always got all hot and bothered over Jim and his allergies, he would never have time for anything else.

The turbolift jerked and stopped and they stepped out, heading to the mess hall.

At the time of the day it was busy, at least half of the crew choosing that time to eat, chill and share gossip.

"I could probably run through the usual tests, though, if you wanted." Bones offered.

"Yikes." Jim answered maturely.

All of them were still watching the hall with hawk's eyes, trying to find a place to park for their lunch. Finally a small group of corpsmen stood from a corner table, heading to put away their trays.

"Target acquired at 4 o'clock," Jim said, jerking his chin in the direction, "I say we split."

"That is a logical suggestion, captain." Spock finally spoke up as well and when Jim looked his way, the vulcan was already striding to join the queue.

"Hold the fort, Jimbo." Bones added, even giving him a cheeky wave as he hurried to join Spock.

That left Jim on his own and pouting. He didn't have long to bask in his wounded pride, though, not unless he wanted someone else to claim the open spots.

It was probably just because those two had some _absolutely fascinating_ new scientific revelation to giggle about together, but Jim just wasn't used to his two friends preferring each other's company to his.

Or he was reading too much into it, again.

He sank into one of the chairs with his back to the hall and even pulled out his PADD to stare at, all just to minimise the chances of an accidental eye contact.

Mess hall during lunch time was a dangerous place; eye contact could be read as a sign of weakness and he would be immediately accosted by his crew mates in search of a place to sit.

Bones was the first to join him, dropping down with a slight clatter as he set his tray on the table. His choice of food looked like pumpkin soup and indian thin bread, for whatever reason.

Jim opted not to comment right now, knowing all too well that Bones will later nag at him for his choice of food, too.

However, before he could as much as push his chair back to get up off the table, there was Spock folding himself into the third chair- and there was a bowl of salad getting set right in front of Jim.

"Uh.." Jim flailed, searching in vain to find anything to say while Spock just regarded him with fond amusement.

Wait a second.

The salad looked pretty good as far as salads went, all green things and red things and even what looked like bits and pieces of chicken meat.

Wait, wait, whoa!

Salad or not, it was a food. Food that Spock brought to him, having ordered it with his own 'Fleet code, because Spock wouldn't have used Jim's without his knowledge.

Could this be-? It must be!

Finally the time had come for Spock's retaliation.

And the thing was, Jim couldn't refuse to eat it, no matter how much he wanted to get up and go get a burger. He just _couldn't_, because that would mean rejecting Spock's gesture and the whole game would be off.

Jim picked up a fork and poked a piece of lettuce dubiously, wondering what on Earth had possessed his amazing commander to torture him so.

"Thank you, Mr. Spock." Jim said with a pleasant enough smile. His eyes darted to Bones and he noticed that not only the doctor wasn't gaping and stuttering about miracles, but he was also just eating his own food, calm and mildly amused. Aha! It was a conspiracy, after all.

"You are quite welcome, captain."

And it was then that Jim remembered his own words, off-hand, yet spoken with confidence: _Nothing Bones could ever do would get me to eat healthy._

That devious little vulcan, Jim thought, flashing the guy an annoyed look, trying with all his might to not show just how impressed and mushy he was getting.

Spock gave him a twitch of an eyebrow and his eyes seemed all soft and warm, bright and beautiful. The vulcan took a pointed bite of his own food, so Jim had to swallow his own pride and eat his _lettuce_, too.

It was the best damn salad he had ever had.

* * *

**leave me a note! i don't necessarily need the push and shove, but it's nice to see that i am not the only one who's curious about how all this thing ends**

** Smile while you still have teeth!**


End file.
